yangelina (yangelina) wrote,

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How can you not love this man?

Friend 1: I'd love to try shabu shabu

Friend 2: I don't even know what that means and I'm too lazy to look it up

Aaron: Basically, the restaurant's hostess arms you with a slingshot and five stones ranging from rough, large rocks to smoothly polished beach pebbles. One person in your group randomly gets a spherical blue stone made of azurite. This stone is known as the 'lingam' and the person with the stone is called the 'Avatar of Tarsus'. They then lead you to a large room about the size of a racquetball court that's loaded with feral bush creatures. You take turns shooting at the animals in the menagerie. Once you're all out of ammunition, you pick the three most delectable animals. The chef than dresses the corpses in front of you and the waitstaff throws the internal organs to the other animals in the menagerie while monotone chanting characters used in the I Ching. If the chef finds the lingam while dressing a corpse, the Avatar of Tarsus eats for free.

You are then led to your table, which is a large donut-shaped round table about knee height. You sit on cushions around the table with your legs folded underneath you.

The dressed corpses are roasted over an open pit fire in the center of the round table. Each person is given a thin trident and a tree pruner to shear chunks of meat off the charred corpses as they cook. The Avatar of Tarsus has the only sharp pruner; everyone else's is intentionally dulled ahead of time, resulting in less clean cuts of meat and a messier experience. If any person except the avatar drops a meat chunk into the fire, they must complete their meal in silence, eyes downcast. If the avator drops meat into the fire, all persons seated at the table toast the person to the right. Once the meal is complete, a traditional after-dinner frozen mint drink is served to cleanse the palate.

The custom of shabu-shabu originated in Ghengis Khan's army after they had raided a rye silo contaminated with ergot.

Friend #3: Where does the Fired Spicy Jumbo Tentacles(spicy) fit in? Does the
Avatar of Tarsus get these? http://www.kazeshabushabu.com/menu.html

Aaron: You have to specify that you want "Hentai Shabu" to the hostess. Then you're led into the Lovecraft room, which has different creatures that can be shot with the slingshot.

However, you have to sign a waiver first, since the creatures in the Lovecraft room have natural weapons that can easily overwhelm your paltry slingshot.

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